Ahh. Hey y’all. I’m feeling pretty down in the dumps right about now. I’m lacking motivation and confidence. First off let me say that 95% of the time I’m completely confident, I don’t see a reason not to be; I mean if there’s something I don’t like about myself why dwell on it? And I’m also really good at looking on the bright side of things, including all aspects of my body. So why am I in the 5% category of no confidence? Well, here’s the thing, ahh it’s so unladylike (and so not me to reveal) but I have to admit, I’m on my monthly. Or at least I’m getting the symptoms, not everyone’s symptoms are the same so let me elaborate: I drink every beverage in sight, well a ton of water and milk, and my body holds onto every single flippin’ ounce!!!! I cannot stand it, but I can’t help my craving to just keep gulping and gulping! Also I don’t know if ya’ll can relate but when I look at the scale and it just keeps creeping up I get so ticked off that I get into the mindset that I should just eat whatever because I’m getting fat anyway!! So here I am 3lbs over my normal weight, pretty much back to where I started. And I’ve been working my bum off so I’m just beyond frustrated, and ya I know it’s “just bloat” ya well WE don’t know that FOR SURE. What if it doesn’t go away??? Do you know how much 3lbs is for a girl who is already “thin” to begin with??!!! I’m skinny fat, 3 POUNDS is a HUGE deal.
I feel ginormous right now, I can’t help stressing over it, and did you know that when you stress you hold onto your weight?
It sucks working out too, I feel heavier, I am heavier. I like to feel the tightness in my body, I like to feel light when I’m jumping around doing plyometrics and right now I don’t, I feel like a flippin whale, and I want to eat like one. Let me tell you what I ate today that was just WAY out of line, 2 slices of pizza and a serving of white rice. Yup, that stuff plus all the extra water I’m carrying around.
Today for a fleeting moment I thought, I should just stop working out and not eat anything.. get skinny THAT way. Then I quickly thought, no!! I worked hard for these lean legs, my body is reshaping I don’t want to give it up!!
There’s nothing I can do about my monthly, it just sucks, sometimes I’m better at controlling my intake on beverages because as you can see it just causes a snowball effect (me stuffing my face) BUT I will control my urges and I’m going to do my Level 3 workout with Jillian Michaels right now and add a mile run. Just sucks. I won’t give in ya’ll, I’m going to get over this wall and as many other ones I wish to defeat.